


Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare)

by SarcasmsProductions



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Drug Use, Drug-Induced Sex, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Future Fic, Lime, M/M, Mild Smut, Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Tendershipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 09:02:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19849906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasmsProductions/pseuds/SarcasmsProductions
Summary: Future fic of a story I'm importing from FF.net.





	Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare)

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for drug use, thoughts of suicide, and a lime. Not necessarily in that order though. Kind of inspired by Kid Cudi's "Pursuit of Happiness", kind of inspired by a gas mask bong. First Tendershipping oneshot, and my first work on this site.

"Malik did give us one more," the thief suggested, although this was more of an implied command. He reached into the pocket of his (acquired, because he never paid for anything) Bathing Apes hoodie and pulled out a _Game Leaf_ cigarillo pack.

But Ryou wasn't trying to do all of that. He was already high as shit, and had pretty much been like that all day. His two dark-skinned friends had convinced him to accompany them when they matched with Shannon while the Vancouver Runner Up dueled Seto at the Kaiba mansion. He would have been a fool not to accept. And, of course, Bakura came along; even though he spent more time bickering with Yami and Yuugi than he did watching the duel (for him to not like his friends, he was extremely clingy). Smoking for free at a multi-million dollar mansion with all of his friends and watching a duel that was just as good if not better than the finals wasn't something that he'd ever turn down. What he _didn't_ know was that over the course of three duels they would smoke nearly eight grams; and when Shannon won, he completely _stuffed_ a _Backwood_. Ryou was surprised that the duelist was able to keep it sealed, it was as thick as three of his fingers. After that point, he was in another place. His body was there but his mind had wandered off to explore the far corners of universe. Currently he was lying on his bed, gazing at the ceiling. He felt like he was sinking into the mattress, but in a good way. It was _so_ comfortable. Laying down just felt so _good_.

"Rapunzel, smoke one."

The thin student sighed and sat up, groaning with irritation. "Why? We smoked nine. To be honest, I'm surprised I'm still awake."

"Go higher." Bakura opened the pack and slid the contents into his hand, his eyes widening at the size of the cigar.

Now Ryou was interested, and he shifted closer to his boyfriend, who was sitting Indian-style behind him. "He blessed us."

The thief silently agreed and handed him the blunt while he searched one of his many pockets for a lighter.

"Why can't we save it for in the morning?"

"Because we can smoke it now."

"I've been high for twelve hours," Ryou whined with an exasperated tone. "I just want to lay..."

"I understand that, but I'm trying to lay _you_ ," The thief purred, very easily using one hand to pull Ryou backwards into his lap.

"That can easily be achieved now," He protested, not even attempting to get away. Too much work.

He was too high for that shit.

"But smoking one more will put me where you're at. I'm on Earth six, I'm trying to go to Earth nine." The thief then smirked at the grin that broke out across Ryou's face. He didn't have weaknesses (at least in his mind), but if he did, it would be a smiling Ryou.

"You're an idiot. If I get any higher, my libido will suffer."

"How do you know?"

Ryou scoffed. "I don't want to stand up _now_. Do you really think that after we smoke that," and he pointed with emphasis to the blunt that his friend gave him. It's thickness reminded him of an early childhood pencil. "My dick will want to do the same? I'd bet my soul that it's no less that a gram in there."

"What's your point? It's just _a_ gram. You've smoked more at one time." In saying this, Bakura reached down to the younger man's crotch, massaging the area with his thumb, index, and middle finger until he was sporting a bulky erection through his jeans. "And you stood at attention pretty fast to me."

Ryou was already blushing at this point, and the comment only reddened his cheeks more.

That was a sight to see, the thin man lying across his lap with his face as red as his eyes. His own jeans began to tighten, and for a split second he began to ditch the idea of smoking again; but he took a deep breath, the thought shaken. The more Ryou smoked, the less he cared.

It made sex much more fun.

"You're not getting soft," he said, placing the cigar between his lips and then using that same hand to light it. "I'll make sure of that."

Ryou already knew that he wouldn't be allowed to say no. The question was why did he not care? Part of the reason had something to do with how his dick was trying to tear through denim; but the other part, he didn't know.

It didn't take a genius to figure out Bakura was an aspshole, but for some reason Ryou didn't care. He continuously made fun of his friends, seemed to be checked out emotionally, and had a record longer than his hair. All of that, however, seemed to make him no difference.

"Hit this," the older male commanded softly, pressing the cigar to his lips and then smirking when he was obeyed. "I'm no behavioral specialist, but based off how you're looking at me and..." He gave Ryou's crotch a decent squeeze, inwardly groaning at how his eyes fluttered shut. " _That_ right there, I'm guessing you want some head."

Actually, he wanted to _fuck_ , but since he brought it up...

The student bashfully looked away, hoping to somewhat hide his blush with the thick cloud of smoke he exhaled.

"You can't hide that face of yours for shit. It's dark and smoky in here, and yet the redness sticks out like a sore thumb."

Needless to say, he failed. "You know that I'm not going to ask," and then his breath hitched in his throat. Slowly, with intent, Bakura was pulling his zipper down. The action made him ache with desire.

"Why? How hard is it to say that you want your dick sucked. You like it, don't you?"

In saying this, the thief unzipped his partners jeans with a swift motion and began teasing at the bulge in his boxers.

It took Ryou a second to realize Bakura had asked him something. Him being stoned nearly out of his mind and the torture he was being put through made his attention span short. "Of course I like it," he managed to choke out without whimpering. It felt so _good_ , but at the same time it could feel so much _better_ if this man would quit playing with him.

"Then why can't you say it?" That hand now slipped underneath the fabric, rubbing the warm flesh with gentle strokes before giving a slight tug. Bakura's own erection weeped at the result.

He'd caught him mid exhale, and a whine escaped along with the smoke. "Fuck~."

"We'll do that once the blunts done. But right now your mind is on some head, and I wanna know why you can't vocalize it."

"It's vulgar."

"Are you fucking serious? You can sing along with Ski Mask when he says _'she's gonna stumble on my dick like Jack and Jill on the hill'_ but you can't look me in my eyes and say, 'Bakura, I want you to suck my dick'?"

"Pretty much."

Bakura withdrew his hand from Ryou's briefs and snatched the blunt away. "Look, you know that I'm not going to do anything unless you ask. So, unless you can suggest it somewhere - some way - Then you're just going to be sitting there hard as fuck until we're done smoking."

The prick. Always making him work for what he wanted. " _Please_. I can't just sit here unsatisfied..."

"Words are being spoken, but I've yet to hear the right ones." He took a few hits before passing the gar back to Ryou. "Quit being such a prude."

"It's not a matter of me being a prude, those words just don't sound right coming out of my mouth."

" _Boy_ ," Bakura began, and then searched for the students phone, which turned out to be in his pocket. He forgot that he'd swiped it earlier. "What's your password?"

Instead of answering, Ryou simply held out his hand. Or rather, turned his wrist so that his palm was facing upward. He wasn't doing anymore moving than he had to.

But Bakura shook his head. "Why can you tell me your password?"

"Because I'm having relations with Chance the Rapper," Was the snarky reply as Ryou took another hit. "Why do you think? You steal my phone at least ten times a day."

The thief exhaled quickly. "Way off. Besides, I always return it."

This was another battle he was going to lose, and he wasn't going to waste the energy trying. With a sigh, he passed the cigar back to his boyfriend, "It's my birthyear."

If there were ever a time where Bakura _shouldn't_ have drawn a blank, it was now. And yet, there he was, staring at the iPhone in his hand like it was a foreign object. He knew three of the numbers, but the last digit eluded him, and he couldn't find it to save his life. "How old are you?" Came the inevitable question, disguised as a soothing purr.

"Are you being serious right now?"

So he _wasn't_ high enough to answer without realizing what the question meant. "Fuck..." Internally, Bakura cringed, but on the outside he continued to gaze at the phone. "I'm sorry -"

"Twenty-three."

Bakura then entered the year, but before he could begin to prove his point, the device began to vibrate. He nearly declined the call, but seeing as it wasn't any of Ryou's friends, the thief opted not to. "It's for you..."

The device transferred hands and Ryou's eyes widened at the caller ID.

_Dad_

Although "Sperm Donor" would have been a better title. Instantly, he was sober and sat up, all but forcing his way out of Bakura's embrace. His eyes were glued to the phone. He hadn't talked to his father since he was a sophomore in high school. The man missed him graduate from high school and undergraduate school. He was more than likely going to miss him recieve his Doctorate in a few years, if Ryou was being honest with himself. There were literally more than enough reasons to decline the call, and yet...

"Father." Ryou cringed. The greeting was much harsher than he intended. He wasn't trying to sound overly excited (because he was more surprised than anything), but at the same time he didn't want to come off dismissive either (even though the man deserved it).

" _Ryou,_ " The older Brit responded on the other end. _"I'm not too sure where I should begin -"_

"How about when Amane and mum died?"

A low blow, albeit, the blow was low for himself as well. The sudden death of his mother and his sister is a punch that will never cease to be painful. He still had nightmares...

_"I knew you were going to say that..."_

"Is that so? Just what else do you _know_? Because you didn't seem to have any idea when I graduated or when my birthday was - hell, I think you forgot you even had a son." Ryou's chest tightened and a lump formed in his throat. It hurt to speak to his father that way, but after years of holding in anger and sorrow...

_"How much is your tuition?"_ The older man quickly asked, before his son could bombard him with all of the logical questions that would make any Dead-beat Dad feel like the dumpster fire that they were. It was the reason why he called.

But the question disgusted Ryou. "Seriously? You miss out on a third of my life and the first thing you ask about is my tuition? No 'Hey son, how has life been treating you' or 'I'm sorry for blaming their deaths on you' or 'I shouldn't have left you to basically raise yourself'?" The student closed his eyes and let out a slow, yet very irate sigh. Some dad. It takes a lot more than ejaculation and financial stability to make a good father figure. "It's not about money. I don't _want_ your money, I never wanted your money. I wanted a father."

His father didn't get to respond, the student hung up immediately and then set the phone next to him before laying back across Bakura's lap. "Hey _Siri_..." He called to the smartphone, his voice taking a demoralized tone now that the call was over. "Shuffle my music."

Kid Cudi's _Pursuit of Happiness_ began to play and the older man sighed before putting the blunt out. Bakura wasn't good at these things. The whole heart-to-heart subject just made him uncomfortable; feelings wasn't his forte. In a relationship, he always did just enough to make sure that there was a basic understanding of how much he cared, but he never vocalized it.

And Ryou knew that.

The thief wasn't going to hug him and ask what was bothering him. If that was what he wanted, then he would have to seek out one of his friends. But that required moving and making phone calls, which he didn't feel like doing. He was still high, after all, he was just no longer enjoying it. "I'm sorry..."

To which Bakura scoffed. "What the fuck are you apologizing for?"

"Ruining the moment," was the reply, as the student gazed down to his unzipped jeans, the bulge gone.

"That's not your fault." Bakura then reached back onto the nightstand next to the bed and picked up an actual cigar. "Look, I'm not good at giving advice, and I don't talk about emotions -"

"I didn't say anything -"

" _But_ you look like you need to talk about it. The most I can do is listen," The older man finished, handing his boyfriend the _Black and Mild_.

Well, that was better than nothing. With a deep breath, Ryou began his explanation. "My mother and my sister were killed in a car accident when I was nine. I still have nightmares about it." A shiver made its way down his spine and he closed his eyes. "After that happened, my father just started to throw himself into his work. From then until I was sixteen, I saw him, maybe, seven times total. I understand him wanting to get away from the house and everything, and it doesn't really help that I'm my mother's twin; but at the same time, I was there alone. I pretty much raised myself. He made sure I had money for food and a roof over my head; but..." Ryou trailed off and sighed. His eyes and chest were aching, and he wanted with everything in him to cry; but that was something he wasn't going to do. He wasn't going to allow his father to have that kind of power over him anymore.

"After I turned sixteen, he completely disappeared. There were no phone calls, no letters, no anything. I graduated, _twice_ , and he still wasn't there. I had seven birthdays, and he never even sent me a goddamn card. He's off exploring ancient history without a care in the world for me, and yet every day there I was sitting at that house by my fucking self. We're family, no matter how much he wants to put the blame of the accident on me. When I needed a father figure the most, he wasn't there.

"I like to think that I don't need him. I learned how to fight without him, I learned how to drive without him, I figured out my sexual orientation without having to tell him, and I plan on getting my doctorate without him. Fuck him."

Ryou reached into his pocket and grabbed a lighter before bringing the cigar to his lips(when had he started shaking?). "I didn't need him then, and I definitely don't need him now."

Bakura watched as the student took a long drag from the Black, waiting on him to say more. He knew that he wasn't finished. There was more to be said. He could feel the despair radiating off of the other's body, thick and suffocating.

Ryou watched the smoke leave his lips and dissipate into the atmosphere before he took another hit.

And another.

And another.

And another.

He was cheefing the cigar, hoping that the sudden rush of nicotine would make him lightheaded enough to forget about the pain and bring back the high that his dad snatched away from him. He wanted to forget about the dull ache in his chest and the heaviness of his throat. He wanted to forget about the empty feeling that was beginning to consume him. For a good while, perhaps about half of a year, Ryou successfully forgot that his father ever existed.

Today was a painful reminder.

"Why doesn't he want me?"

Those words nearly brought tears to Bakura's eyes, although he'd deny it fiercely if he were ever asked. Like Ryou, Bakura was too without his parents; but unlike the student, _both_ of his parents were taken from him. He didn't know what he'd do if he were in Ryou's situation. He looked down at his boyfriend and his keen nocturnal eyes managed to pick up the shiny streaks on his face. If it had been anyone else, he would have insulted them and left. He didn't have time for, nor did he want to deal with people that he liked to call "Crybaby Ass Bitches", but this one was different. Bakura still thought that nothing was worth crying over, yet he could understand why Ryou was reduced to tears. But just because the thief was fine with his boyfriend's tears didn't give the student's father a free pass. "Anyone that doesn't want shit to do with you is a fucking idiot, no cap."

A sad smile etched it's way across the younger boy's features and he gave a half-hearted laugh. "You don't have to say things just so that I feel better."

"I'm serious. Anyone that knows you and then willingly forgets that you exist is dumb as shit." The thief deadpanned before taking the _Black and Mild_ away from Ryou. The cigar had only been lit for a few minutes, but was already seventy-five percent gone. "You're gonna give yourself a stomach ache, if you haven't already."

"I smoke when I'm upset."

"That isn't exactly a healthy coping mechanism, you know."

The smile turned into a more genuine one and Ryou sat up, using the sleeves of his cardigan to dry his eyes. "Says the chainsmoking kleptomaniac that's smoking while on probation."

"Two wrongs don't make a right."

"But we can go ahead and make a left."

This time Bakura was the one to crack a smile (though his was more of a smirk than anything) and he reached back down to the younger man's crotch, moving the denim out of the way. "Speaking of left," He purred, drastically changing the subject. "Where were we?"

It didn't take long for the student to stand back at attention. "I think you were trying to make me beg for head."

"Well?"

Ryou sighed. The hand on his covered erection didn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, and he knew for a fact that the thief attached to said hand wasn't going to do anything for him until he got what he wanted. And that was the fucking problem.

"You're just prolonging your own nut, I hope you know that," Bakura reiterated, continuing to stroke the hard mass of flesh in Ryou's boxer briefs. They were just three words: suck my dick. It wasn't that hard to say.

Ryou's teeth latched onto his lower lip and he looked up at the ceiling, perhaps hoping to find his confidence somewhere up there. His groin was begging him to utter the short words; but his mind, all the way on cloud ninety-nine, was still trying to hold on to the last shred of class he had left. "'Kura, do I have to?" He managed to squeak out as Bakura decided to up the ante and slip his hand into the student's underwear to stroke his bare member. Again.

"Do you want your dick sucked?"

A nod.

"Then say it. They're words that you use every day, you shouldn't have a problem putting them into a sentence for me."

The thin student whimpered, arching his hips into Bakura's hand. Fuck his class, he wanted _pleasure_.

"...Suck my dick..."

The smirk that hadn't left his face broadened and Bakura ridded his boyfriend of the obscuring boxer briefs. His crimson eyes lit up and he eased himself out from under Ryou to stand before him. "I can't hear you~," Came the inevitable tease as the thief leaned down over the member, close enough to where the student could feel his breath on it.

This was torture. Bakura was sick, and he needed to get himself some help. "You play too much," He whined.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I really didn't hear you."

The student could no longer see his boyfriend (and he wasn't gonna sit up), but he could hear the smugness in his voice. "You heard me clear as day, that's why you moved in the first place."

"It won't fucking kill you to say the shit again."

It wouldn't, but that was beside the point. He was completely exposed to the cool air of the room, told this man exactly what he wanted to hear, and...

The feeling of Bakura's tongue sliding along his length, and then dancing along his already leaking tip, turned his already fried mind to goo. What was he complaining about again?

"This is all you're gonna get unless you repeat yourself."

Right. That.

He had to cast his class aside. _Again_. For fuck's sake...

On the outside, Ryou looked innocent (or as innocent as any pot smoking, cigar smoking, acid tripping young adult could look) and sweet as all get out, but the thief was slowly finding out that looks can be deceiving. When he went to teasingly run his tongue along the student's shaft for a second time, he wasn't expecting his mouth (more like his throat if he was being honest) to be penetrated. Almost immediately he pulled away and gave the younger man an icy stare. "So that's how you wanna play?"

A lazy, half smile was his answer.

Bakura nodded and lowered himself back to Ryou's erection, kneeling just to give himself a better angle. "I've got something for that ass."

And then, pure bliss.

The student threw his head back against the comforter and arched his back, the shocking pleasure getting the better of him as the thief's nickname spilled from his lips in the form of a whimper.

"'Kura~"

Crimson eyes looked up as their owner's head went down, roughly swallowing the mass of flesh belonging to his partner. Those eyes then pouted (though the thief would never admit it), and he pulled up just enough to say, "Watch me."

Ryou wanted to, but that would require for him to sit up. Which required moving. He wasn't trying to do all that, especially the moving part. "I couldn't sit up even if I wanted to."

"But I like," the tip of his tongue flicked over Ryou's oozing head and the student's hips suddenly jerked forward. "A captive audience."

"I don't think you realize how high I am..."

"I don't think you realize that I wasn't fucking asking." Bakura had risen to his feet and was now standing over his boyfriend, his face inches away from the other's. "Look at me, or I won't continue."

He was an asshat. But he was his asshat.

Reluctantly obeying - and giving an overly dramatic, Malik-type sigh - Ryou rose to a sitting position; and then another sound escaped him as the thief continued to tease him. "Why are you like this?" He whined while Bakura's slender fingers curled around his erection and his thumb toyed with the head, spreading around the sticky substance gathered there. It was pleasure, but it wasn't the pleasure he _wanted_.

Instead of answering, Bakura leaned down and took in the student's full lips, biting and sucking on them while simultaneously swallowing all of the sounds that escaped him. Ryou's moans belonged solely to him. "Because you like it," he gruffly replied as the same hand then gave a sharp twist and then a slight but rough tug to Ryou's member. "I'm still waiting on you to say it, you know~."

"I _did._ " Ryou tried to sound firm and assertive, but the hand between his legs made the statement come out as a whimper.

"I told you that I couldn't hear you."

"You heard me."

A smile. A sinister one. It was so sexy.

"Nah, I didn't hear you say shit. But since we're talking..." Bakura trailed kisses down the younger man's neck and bit down rather hard once he reached the student's clavicle, basking in the sound that escaped him. "Tell me what you want. After all, you have a mouth for a reason."

_So do you_ , Ryou thought, writing his hips against the thief's now stilled hand. At this point he was losing both his sanity and his patience. Bakura played too much. "Why don't you use _your_ mouth to please me, like I asked you to earlier?"

"A smartass, huh?" A smirk that sent chills down Ryou's spine appeared on Bakura's face as the older man dropped back to his knees. "I like that."

The second time that Ryou felt Bakura take him in, he made sure that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He wrapped his already shaking legs around the thief's shoulders, his thighs on either side of his neck, and took a fistful of fluffy hair that was similar to his own. Since Bakura wanted to play with him, he decided it was time for him to have some fun of his own.

The extremely audible gag that escaped Bakura was more out of surprise than anything else, and his crimson eyes locked with a pair of half-lidded, bloodshot ones that were clearly lost in their pleasure. Fortunately, because this time he really didn't want to pull away, matching his gaze was all he could do; what with the thin yet strong arm holding his head in place while overly eager hips gyrated their way forward and backward. In a twisted way, he liked it. Barely being able to breathe while his boyfriend acted like a horny teenager, along with the sounds that escaped him each time his head was pulled up and forcibly brought back down. It was a turn on.

The pit of Ryou's stomach began to burn with a white-hot fire as a heavy pressure built up, making his already frenzied movements speed up. Everything seemed to disappear around him, almost as though he and Bakura had stepped into a new plane of existence. The only thing on his mind was the thief he had locked between his legs and the nut he was trying so desperately to get off. He needed release. If anything, it would help him forget the conversation that he'd just had with his...

His...

His thoughts were cut off as his orgasm tore through his body. Ryou's back arched and his knees buckled as he gave a loud (and rather unmanly) cry of pleasure, his hips giving a final thrust into the thief's mouth before he stilled and then collapsed back onto the bed. The unbreakable hold that he'd had on Bakura fell into nothingness as he desperately tried to get air back into his lungs. And pull his soul back into his body.

Bakura stood and leaned over the student, disappointed to see that his eyes were closed. "Rapunzel," He called, tangling one of the fluffy white tresses around his finger.

His answer was heavy breathing.

Bakura called the boy by his pet name again. Still nothing. Shaking his head, he fixed the younger man's jeans (by yanking them off) and then took the liberty of pulling him further onto the bed. His already intense high was sent up a few more notches from their activity, and he didn't even cum. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Ryou was more than likely in a parallel universe. Sleep would do both of them some good.

**POHN**

_A long hallway with a single door at the end lay before the thin student, and he tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, as if to show brief confusion. He didn't recognize the foyer, per say, but he knew exactly where the door had come from._

_His old house._

_**That** house._

_Quickly, he turned around and looked for a way out. But all he saw was a darkness so black that it could pass as a dark burgundy. That way wasn't it, chief._

_Not to mention the whispers that came from those shadows were in a language that he'd never heard before._ _With a sigh, Ryou reluctantly made his way to the door and took the knob in his hand. He had no idea what was behind it, but based on the demonic fuckery going on behind him, he could only draw the conclusion that it wasn't good. Beyond the entrance seemed to be a type of alternate reality in the form of a hanging picture. Aside from that, the room was the same color as the end of the ominous hallway, and it sent the same chills down his spine._

_But those chills stopped in their tracks when Ryou realized that the picture was moving. Like a movie. One that he'd seen before._

_He knew the ending all too well._ _With his eyes glued to the scene before him, Ryou watched from the doorway as his Mother exited their old home with his younger sister in tow. He'd seen this before. He knew exactly what was going to happen. Before they disappeared into the car, the student decided that he'd seen enough and went to leave the room..._

_Only to find that he couldn't move. His body seemed to weigh several tons, as he couldn't even avert his eyes away from the scene, no matter how hard he tried. He was stuck in that spot._

_He was stuck in that moment._

_Again._

_Tears formed in his eyes as he watched the car disappear around a bend. He should be used to this by now. This was just a rerun. An episode that he'd seen a million times. He knew the plot like the back of his hand. Yet, even as a grown man, his heart was still ripped out at the sight. The last time he saw them. The day his life changed forever._

_For the worst._

_No longer paralyzed, Ryou fell to his knees, his gaze now locked on the pitch black platform that passed as the ground. He felt unbelievably empty, like he was hollow, and a dull ache spread throughout his chest. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to think._

_It even hurt to cry._

_"Not again..." He muttered almost silently as the room around him disappeared and he was thrust back into the hallway with a large gust of wind._

_"So, you think you don't need your father, do you?"_

_His head snapped up and he turned to face the oddly familiar voice. It sounded like his father, but it also sounded like..._

_A demon._

_The voice sounded as though it was gargling gravel, and it echoed throughout the shadowy hallway all the while sending tremors through his body. Frantic eyes searched the blackness around him, but nothing was there._

_"Ever stop to think why he doesn't want anything to do with you?"_

_His friends often told him that there wasn't a reason good enough to abandon your only living child, and Ryou wanted to believe it. After all, he was only nine when his mother and sister passed. Merely a child._

_Perhaps he was still a child at heart, as all he wanted was someone to hold him and tell them they loved him. Someone to tell him that they needed him and promise to never leave him. Maybe he was asking for too much._ _Very slowly, he rose to his feet and began to wander aimlessly through the darkness, hugging himself. "I don't know, why?" He called out, dispirited._

_As if he had spoken magic words, the black platform passing as the ground disappeared from under his feet, making him plummet into an abyss._

_Into the rest of his life._

_Into Hell._

_"No one wants you. You can't even stand alone on your own two feet!"_

_Ryou wanted to object and say that it was hard to stand when there was no ground to anchor himself on; but he came into heavy contact with a hard surface, and the impact took his breath away._

_"You can't even deal with your problems like a man. Everything that goes wrong, you try to smoke it away."_

_And he was falling again._

_"You're going to kill yourself trying to escape your issues."_

_He hit the ground, harder than the last time. Well, the voice wasn't wrong. Better for him to do it slowly over time with drugs like everyone else. And if he did it right, no one would notice that there's anything wrong with him. He could die in peace._ _The voice had finally materialized. Much to his surprise, it wasn't his father. It was himself._

_Well, kind of._

_If he were a black-eyed child that cried blood._

_Sucking in a sharp breath, Ryou scrambled to his feet and away from the nefarious figure._ _The creature stuck out its tongue in response, the organ synonymous to that of a snake. On the tip were six small tabs, each one a different color. "Why not go out with a bang?"_

**POHN**

Ryou awoke with a start. Because the room was so dark, he thought for a split second that he was still dreaming. But the gentle snores next to him told him that he was back in his bedroom. Very groggily and leisurely he sat up, not only because he didn't want to wake Bakura, but because his head felt it was going to put him right back to sleep if he got up too fast. He obviously wasn't asleep long enough for his massive high to wear off, as his eyelids were extremely weighted and it seemed to take more effort than normal to move.

It was almost like his body wanted him to go back to sleep. It was begging him to fall into another nightmare.

Sometimes he wished that the rumors of dying in his nightmares were true. Waking up to face reality after one of those night terrors hurt, and frankly he was sick of being in pain. It didn't help that eventually he'd have to go back to sleep. The reasons why were still unknown, but Ryou was well aware of what happened to the body when it went without sleep.

Was sleep deprivation a good way to go out? Was any way a good way to go out?

His eyes fell on what was left of his Black and Mild cigar resting on his nightstand, and he grabbed it without a second thought. Cancer wasn't a good way to go out either, and nicotine addiction was seemingly running rampant over humanity; but it would take the pain away. Less stress, less anxiety; so what if it cost him his lungs?

Yuugi liked to tell him that he had one foot in the grave as long as he kept smoking those elongated Emphysema sticks. Ryou didn't exactly see how that was a bad thing.

His father didn't want anything to do with him. Of course, at this point in his life, he couldn't blame the man. What kind of strict Christian would accept his habits anyway? Smoking, tripping, getting high...it was all taboo. As far as he knew, he had a one way ticket to hell. Not to mention that he was gay, and Sodemy was considered an abomination.

_He_ was an abomination.

What kind of father would want that?

Granted, his father didn't know all of that about him; but that just made it worse. If by some miracle he did decide to make an appearance in Ryou's life again, he'd quickly change his mind.

"You're smoking plastic."

The thin student jumped slightly and looked to his left, a pair of crimson eyes greeting him. Somewhere along the lines of his existential crisis, Bakura had woken up. That, and he'd smoked all of the tobacco that was left in his cigar, leaving him with the plastic filter tip that was beginning to burn. He gave an indifferent shrug.

The thief sighed and reached across the younger man, grabbing an ashtray and holding it under the burning plastic.

Ryou rolled his eyes and obeyed the silent command, dropping what used to be his cigar into the ashtray. "That was my last one."

"It wasn't anything left to smoke. Besides, you should be sleep." Bakura picked up the student's phone. "It's four in the morning. Don't you have class in a little bit?"

A nod.

"Why are you up?"

Ryou didn't answer, he simply gazed up at the ceiling. Hopefully the message that he didn't want to talk about it would get through.

Although, said message fell on deaf ears. Not taking too kindly to being ignored, Bakura sat up and leaned over him. "I'm talking to you."

"I know."

"Oh, so it's like that? I'm trying to help you."

No answer.

"Unlike your worthless father, I actually care about you. Otherwise, I wouldn't be asking what's wrong with you..."

"I had a nightmare."

Silence. Then, "So that's why you're up even though you have a class in about four hours?"

Another nod.

"And you're just going to stay awake until it's time for you to go?"

"That's what I've been doing."

"Why?"

"If you could see the things that I see in my slumber, you'd be pressed to stay awake too," Ryou muttered, turning his back to the thief. Bakura didn't understand, and that was okay. He was past the point of wanting everyone to understand him.

He just wanted to be left alone.

"That's why you smoke so much?"

That was the exact reason. His problems were too powerful for him to fight head on. Running from them, forgetting that they exist was his best option. Until they decided to pop up in his sleep. Or call him after seven years. "Yeah. That's why." He didn't expect to be forcibly turned over and pulled into a strong embrace.

"If you wanna stay awake all night and then try and go learn, that's on you..."

"Bakura, Im not going back to sleep."

"I didn't say you had to. But I wouldn't go to class if I were you."

"I already missed three days because of the tournament."

"What's one more gonna do?"

"...Put me even further behind?"

"The exact same thing falling asleep in class will do. Look, Ryou, I'm not gonna make you go back to sleep, but I _will_ prevent you from leaving if you decide to stay awake."

"I can easily leave if you're going back to sleep."

"Who said I was going back to sleep?"

Ryou couldn't see Bakura's facial expression but he could see the smirk in his eyes, and he shook his head. "You're going to stay awake all night for my sake?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I just told you why."

"No, you squeezed a confession out of me and then told me that I wasn't allowed to go to class."

"I just told you that I care about you," The thief deadpanned, glad that it was dark and Ryou wouldn't be able to see the blush spreading across his cheeks. He could get away with saying it once. After that, well, then he started getting this uneasy feeling in his stomach. "It's bad enough that you're losing sleep over someone that thinks they can just throw money at your issues - issues that _they_ caused. I'm not about to let this man cost you your education. It seems important to you."

A knowing smile broke out across Ryou's face and he nodded, both in understanding of Bakura's statement and understanding of what was left unsaid. "Love you too, 'Kura."

Bakura's blush darkened and his eyes widened. Ryou wasn't wrong, but he didn't appreciate being read like a book. "Hold on, I ain't say all that."

"You didn't have to. I can tell."


End file.
